Laboring

I was scrolling through some of my favorite bloggers on FB this morning and came across a post by House of Smiths. Shelley is participating in a series of articles for MillionMomsChallenge.com. Of course when she mentioned there was a contest involved I jumped at the chance to read her essay and respond. When I opened the link I noticed the topic was Labor. Shelley goes on to talk about her labor and delivery of her 3rd child and how different it was from her first L&D with her twins. So I get to the end where you respond to a question for a chance to win some really great prizes and the question is "What went through your mind when you held your baby for the first time?". Hmmm, I don't think I want to put a damper on such a lovely article with my first hand account of holding Bailey. And maybe that's just for us anyway. So I responded with, "I had my rainbow baby by scheduled c-section so I too had to wait for the meds and vomiting to wear off but finally, I got my moment. The first time I saw my son in my arms, I cried quietly as I looked into his eyes and thanked the 2 that had come and gone before him for his safe arrival." 


Day 21:  Is there something about your child(ren) that brings a smile to your face?
Bailey was a little fighter. She was under developed as we had both been sick for several weeks.  She was so small. Although I had her at 26wks she was by all accounts a 24-weeker at best.  She fought hard for 2 days but finally a decision had to be made to end her suffering.  Now understand that I believe at no point while she was on Earth did she suffer in the way that we as adults understand pain and agony. I believe she was shielded by the hand of God who protected her from that pain. However, after two days of being on the ventilator her lungs were starting to tear and rip. It didn't feel right for her to have to go through that just to be here for me and my hubby. It agonized me! So when I think of how hard she fought to be here so that I, who was on heavy medication and not able to be with her, could be well enough to be wheeled over to the NICU to finally meet my daughter -- that makes me smile! She did that for me.  She hung on for me. She is my hero.