That's it, just 10 more until my beautiful baby girl is 16! This would be the part where I freak out and think how could it be that I last held you 16 years ago. Sometimes it just feels like yesterday. There may be 10 more days til her birthday but no matter how hard I try I can't help but start counting down the 27th. You see that's when it all started to go downhill. From pleading with the Drs that something was just not right to her being taken from me by emergency c-section while I was so doped up Mag that I hardly knew where or who I was. That's where another countdown begins but I can't focus on that one just yet.
I think I relive these days each year partly as a reminder to what happened. So I'll never forget! Going through her story in my mind each year, accounting what happened to the both of us so it stays with me until the day I die. Just the thought of next week makes me anxious and emotional but I have to do it, I have to remember all that I can so I will never forget!
Day 20: If you have anger, what are you most angry about?
Well since you brought it up! I am most angry about how the Drs cared for me. I hated that I had to see each Dr in the practice "just in case". Whatever, I have never been uptight about Drs and the way I looked at it, when the time came and I was in labor, I didn't much care who was down there as long as they delivered my baby safely. For months I was criticized about my weight even so far as being told to get the salad bar and let my husband get the hamburger and fries. I repeatedly told them that I was not eating unhealthy foods, I was not binging all night long, I was still wearing non-maternity clothes, nobody listened! This goes along with the countdown I referred to earlier so I'll save part of this for a post next week. The main point is that I was overlooked because they were not thinking outside of the box. When will Drs learn that not everyone fits into that little package the medical books teach them about. Yes I have a 3rd trimester disease in the 2nd trimester.
No comments:
Post a Comment