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| Credit: CarlyMarie |
There are a hand-full of times throughout the year when I use my personal page to express my love and passion for speaking up for babies that have died. Today is one of those days.
August 19th Day of Hope was created by a wonderful lady in Australia after the death of her son. She writes the names of babies that have died on the sandy beaches and photographs them at sunset for their parents to always have a memorial of their baby's name.
Our babies were much loved and much wanted and were given a name with the expectation of dreams to be fulfilled. Sadly those dreams will never be realized for that child but their name is still so precious to us. Today is a day to speak up for lost babies. Tell the world that they are very much a part of our daily lives, we love to see and hear their names, and they are never ever forgotten. So I created an event for today where I am encouraging others to speak for their baby, to be their VOICE! Say their name openly and tell everyone how loved they still are.
If you know someone that has lost a child, please urge them to go to this event page and list their baby's name on the wall for everyone to remember today...and every day!
I know it's my Facebook page and I can put or say anything I want to on it, but often I take on the common uneasiness of putting my dead babies out there. I suppose I am afraid of making other people uneasy or maybe I just don't want anyone to think I'm crazy.
Is this not the very thing I hate about babyloss? I am an offender!!
So I have decided from now on, I will share my thoughts about babyloss on my personal page whenever or however, or even however often, I like. If those people that are "friends" on my page do not understand or wish to sweep me under the carpet as an unfortunate soul that is lost in the world of death, then those people are not my friends. I would hope that anyone that sees my posts and thinks strangely of me would send me a private message and ask me about my losses. Ask me WHY!! I'm certainly not afraid to speak about my babies and I am certainly not afraid to speak about loss so why do I shy away from it on my personal page?
Maybe it's because I have a page on Facebook specifically for loss and loss related topics. Maybe I'm trying to keep these two worlds separate?
NO MORE!
These two worlds collided years ago. They are not separate in my mind or in my heart so why should they be separate in real life? Or virtual life either?
I am mother to 4 children.
I am mother to 2 babies lost in miscarriage.
I am mother to 1 baby born at 25w5d and whom lived for 2 days before she had to leave us.
I am mother to one living child, a son.
This is me whether online or in real life.
From this day on, I will live as one for my babies. ALL of them!
** This post was supposed to be about speaking up for your babies. Being their VOICE!! Telling the world they are never forgotten. However, I had a bit of an epiphany when I posted to my personal page and realized I was doing exactly what I urge others not to do. I hope you will visit the event page to read about why I think this day is special **
A full array of beautiful Day of Hope awareness images can be found here.
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ReplyDelete:)
Deletei separate my "friends' from my loss support friends who are really there for me.. my loss of Vylette is new.. but i really find no love or support from the people i know. whenever i do post something its like i hear crickets. i can post the same exact thing on my other page for Vylette and i will get over 100 responses. it makes me sad to know my friends are too scared to say anything or simply don't care and want me to be quiet. but it touches me that all of these strangers are there for me. i still keep them separate. but today i will post this image for the Day of hope.. to ride along the newsfeed amongst the many pictures of pregnant friends or their babies playing happily.. not to upset anyone, but to let it be known that this exists and i do suffer.
ReplyDeleteI completely understand!! I get very little support from my real friends and so much more from those that understand my pain. I am surprised often by a few that "like" my posts and support me.
Deletelove it. i am always catching myself "teaching" what I need to know. how ironic but how human and real and wonderful all at the same time. such a wonderful thing to have come from today. thank you. for this epiphany. and for speaking our babies names aloud. i too feel this way, not wanting to offend or "irritate" or cause eyes to roll, remembering my five baby angels. feeling the judgment "would you get over it already" when truly the judgment comes form within me. "would you get over it already" but I haven;t and i won;t and i don;t intend to ever. i will carry my sweet angel babies, their names, their lifes and the ways each touched my heart, with me FOREVER.
ReplyDeletethough i too am a stand for women to share their stories, i too find this to be a challenge. why my story? who would care? OUR STORIES ARE IMPORTANT. especially the ones that are the hardest for us to put words to. There is power when we share our stories. Thank you for sharing yours with me (and so many others - many of whom you will never know abou) today.
xoxo
MAY GOD BLSS YOU as you are blessing others with your love,
Suzanne
Wow thank you Suzanne. I think we walk a similar path. A fine line for sure. Thank you for your kind words!! and God bless you too!!
DeleteThis is me too! I feel so new to this life experience as I only lost my son Seth 5 months ago exactly yesterday. I feel so nervous about posting things on facebook about him and I hate how it makes me feel and I hate that I shy away from it. I want the freedom to still speak of him. He is my son! I miss him terribly and living without him is so hard. I don't want to hide him or feel ashamed because he died. He was too beautiful of a blessing.
ReplyDeleteInstead, I only posted about Seth on my blog both yesterday and today. I am still grieving so I am not as courageous about speaking about him as I would like to be. Thank you for sharing your courage and being a good example of how to continue to love our babies openly.
Kim -- apieceofmyheartinheaven.blogspot.com
<3 Seth Josiah <3
Thank you for your kind words Kim!! You are still so new to this journey. It takes time to work through all these things and for now maybe just sharing Seth on your blog and in the BL community is best. Posting on your personal page is like offering yourself up for someone to be hurtful. I'm not sure that is something you need to put yourself through just yet. Of course, I'm just speaking from personal experience and your friends and family may be very supportive and loving to you. I hope so!! But you are always welcome here or on our FB page to talk about Seth as much as you like. Even simply writing his name on our wall is perfectly fine.
DeleteOh yes. That's why I merged my two blogs into one...I can't separate them out. Glad you're doing this thing to honor your whole life, Stephanie. <3
ReplyDeleteFunny you say that Beth. I have had several people ask me if I have a basic family blog in addition to this one. I have been thinking about it and kind of struggling with the decision and subconsciously I think this is why. As hard as we try it's hard even impossible to separate these two worlds cause they are really one world, our world, the world we live in everyday.
Delete