A Lifetime of Grief

Not too long ago I was watching a program about psychic mediums. This lady had the medium come to her house because she wanted to 'connect' with her deceased mother. Well in the time her appointment had been scheduled, her ailing father passed. She was unsure if she would 'hear' from him since he had just so recently passed. The medium began with her father, her mother was there to meet him on the other side and he was at peace. He was grateful for all she had done for him and he was whole again and reunited with his long lost wife that had passed some 19 years prior. After hearing what the medium had told her, the lady said she was at peace with her father's passing. She could be happy for him and could live out the rest of her life knowing that he was with her mom. Then she said, she didn't have to grieve for him anymore.

I have been stewing about this for some time. How is it that this woman can stop grieving for her father?

Breaking it down:

PEACE - with acceptance comes peace. When you accept in your heart that what has happened can not be changed then you can move forward with peace. It is a choice that has to be made in your heart. You choose to be hopeful, joyful, and let peace come to you. I wrote a little about my peace here last week. As I said, there will be dark days to navigate but you can still live with peace in your heart.

GRIEF - I thought, when I heard this woman speak of her ability to stop grieving, how wonderful it would be for that to come with the peace I already have. For her, I imagine the two go hand-in-hand and that's what seemed strange to me. They are not one for me and I suspect not for anyone that has ever lost a child. I have peace because I believe Bailey lived her life to the fullest. I would have loved for her life to be more than just two shorts days but sickness intervened and she had to leave my world. I am at peace with that. BUT, the big but, I will always grieve for her.

I will grieve the lost memories that were never made. 

I will grieve the moments not shared. 

I will grieve her as my son grows. 

I will grieve never really knowing what kind of person she would have grown to be. 

I will grieve not knowing the sound of her voice. 

I will grieve her when I am old. 

I will never stop grieving for what would have been for our lives together. 

So I believe this woman can stop grieving because her father lived a full long life. There was nothing else to long for. As I walk this funny road of peace, I still carry a lifetime of grief for what would have been. I think that is completely normal when a life is cut way too short.

I grieve because I love.